For many, setting boundaries can feel unnatural and uncomfortable.
We’re not used to protecting ourselves in such an upfront way; we’re used to people-pleasing, and spend our lives trying not to step on anyone’s toes.
Affirmations for setting better boundaries can help make the process so much easier.
Sometimes, all we need is that little pep-talk to remind ourselves that we’re worthy; that setting boundaries is an act of self-care; and that the people around us who are actually worth keeping around us, will respect them.
How do I strengthen my boundaries?
If you’ve lived a life in which you’ve never even had boundaries for people to cross, setting and strengthening them might feel like a foreign concept to you. It might make you feel uncomfortable or even guilty, especially if you’re a chronic people-pleaser and care a little too much about what other people think of you.
(Trust me, as someone who spent literal years obsessing over other people liking me and wanting to keep them happy, I can empathise.)
Firstly, please know that setting boundaries is self-care and self-love.
It’s not selfish or something that will push the people in your life who matter away. If people in your life are worth having in it, they will respect and adhere to your boundaries, no questions asked.
Setting boundaries is about showing up for yourself; showing yourself respect; and protecting your energy, time and mental health.
You deserve to be able to set and enforce boundaries that prevent other people from violating any of the above.
In order to set firm boundaries, here are some of my tips:
- Pinpoint what makes you uncomfortable: Take some time for self-reflection, either through meditation, journaling, or just sitting and thinking by yourself with a cup of coffee. Think about what you don’t want to have to put up with. For example, you don’t want people to talk about certain triggering topics to you, or you’re uncomfortable with a partner talking to people privately on social media.
- Think about what’s important to you: Now, think about what you do want from your life, how you want to navigate it, and what would make you happy, while reducing stress. For example, trusting relationships, time to practise self-care, or freedom to leave a conversation that you’re uncomfortable with.
- Get clear: Get clear on your boundaries. You need to be clear in order to accurately and honestly communicate them to others. You may have qualifiers and stipulations to your boundaries. For example, you may be fine with your significant other flirting with others when they’re out at a bar, but you would be upset if they swapped numbers with someone. That would be your boundary. Perhaps even write your boundaries down on paper to get as clear as possible.
- Start small: If you’re uncomfortable setting firm boundaries, I invite you to try setting small boundaries first.
- Be up front and honest from the get-go: State your boundaries to anyone new who comes into your life. Keep stating them to those who aren’t new to your life, but need reminding. Make your intensions and boundaries clear as soon as you can.
- Communication is key: Tell someone that’s they’ve crossed a boundary when they do. Tell them if your boundaries change at any point. Keep them in the loop. Most people will be happy to respect your boundaries if they know exactly what they are. This is how you continue to set, enforce and strengthen your boundaries in the long-run.
Remember, boundaries aren’t just amazing self-care for yourself, they’re also fantastic for relationships (romantic and otherwise).
Boundaries encourage honesty and communication; there’s no uncertainty around what you can and can’t do; they demonstrate mutual respect and emotional maturity; and they put you both on the same page.
Affirmations for setting boundaries
Some of us find it really hard to set boundaries because we feel like we’re upsetting the other person or being argumentative, but this really isn’t the case. Most people will understand this.
Repeating affirmations for setting better boundaries can be helpful as they can help reprogram how we see ourselves and the world.
The more we repeat something, the more ‘real’ it becomes in our brain, and the stronger our resolve gets.
Here are some examples of affirmations for boundaries for you to repeat either out loud, in your head, or in your journal.
- I deserve to stand firm on the boundaries I choose for myself
- I deserve to set whatever boundaries I see fit
- I deserve to protect my energy
- I give myself permission to set boundaries and enforce them
- Setting boundaries comes naturally to me
- My time is sacred and I have every right to protect it
- My space is my own and no-one else’s – I deserve to honour that
- My boundaries reflect my self-worth
- Setting boundaries is me showing up for myself – it’s self-care
- I choose who I let into my life
- I am worthy of honouring my boundaries
- I choose to change my boundaries as I change as a human – that is my right
- I choose boundaries that reflect my best self
- My boundaries lead to me living my best life
- Communicating my boundaries to others is easy for me
- Those I care about, care about my boundaries
- With every boundary I set, I grow as a person
- Setting boundaries makes me a better person
- I thrive when I set boundaries
- Setting boundaries brings me comfort
- Setting boundaries makes me feel safe
A witchy ray of sunshine who loves to help others on their journal journey. I’ve been journaling since childhood and have since gone on to earn a degree in English and a diploma in Shadow Work. I love my plant babies, yoga, and anything spooky. Find out more on my about me page.